Preparation

In preparation to receive new things, I need be prepared to make some changes so that new things can come into place.  In the past week, it was preparing to move to a temporary office space while my previous one was going to be under renovation.  In preparation for the renovations to be ready for our company to move in, we had to prepare by packing all our items & moving to a temporary location on a different floor of the same building for a month, before moving back in.  Here’s a pix of a group of colleagues packing & preparing to move to another floor – one of them decided that we should take a pix to commemorate our office.

So much more needs to be done when we want to prepare to receive a spiritual harvest of sorts.  Personally, I’m feeling stunned by the amount of things I need to push myself to do.  I’m realising I’m becoming more laid back in pursuing after the heartbeat of God.  As I’m pushing myself to seek after God’s blueprint as to how to lead & be prepared to receive new things that the Lord wants to give unto us, I find myself often feeling tired as I press on into the presence of God.  On the other hand, I feel so amazed as there are days when I come before God & pray that He would guide me in a particular situation as I’ve run out of ideas of what to do.  As I wait upon the Lord, ideas start coming in as to how I could do it.  I would try to rationalise each idea & concept & debate with God to ensure that this is something that He’s guiding me through.  Amazingly, although I may be physically & mentally drained, my spirit has been somewhat excited about what is to come.

There have been a few prophecies given earlier this year that I now see coming to past, including a few which said that I’ll be doing things in a new manner.  It’s been a long time since I’ve had to undertake numerous changes in different aspects of my life.  Perhaps it’s got to do with a discontentment about the way things have been done.  Seldom am I motivated to undertake as many things as I have done.  In fact, there have been days I’ve asked myself why did I put myself through all this.  I’m not struggling to do it as I enjoy the journey.  But I do struggle in coping with the many things.  However, God has been good indeed. I’ve realised that He allows things to happen in different aspects of my life in different timings so that I can concentrate on a single aspect at different timings.

Thank God for giving me the strength, energy & health to do all that You’re guiding & leading me towards!

Dreams Galore

I’ve been having so many dreams the past few nights which make me feel like I’m not getting much good sleep.  Realised that my concerns usually manifest itself in dreams & perhaps the recent spate of dreams have to do with quite a few funerals around me happening.

Firstly, it was the dad of one of my care group members, which was so sudden.  Subsequently, my brother got a shock as his ex-colleague who is in his early thirties died from stress.  Thereafter, I hear that an ex-colleague of mine died from a heart attack.  These deaths shook me up for a variety of reasons, although it has encouraged me as I see how various ones are cementing their faith in God as a result of it all.  Perhaps it was the circumstances that caused all these to happen or resulted in these unexpected deaths.  Also, certain things were impressed upon my heart as well.

I realise that I’m not moving as fast as I could to a great extent as I still do struggle with God’s purpose in my life.  Along the way, I hesitate & I ask God to reconfirm repeatedly what He has already spoken.  The good thing is that at least now I’m motivated to move towards a particular direction, although I’m praying as to how to do so specifically.  It’s quite a new & enriching experience for me as I’m partnering with the Holy Spirit to a much greater extent.  Also, I’m spending more time to sense what God wants me to do.  Interestingly, God is indeed a consistent God for whatever He has laid in my heart, has also been confirmed via certain plans that the leaders have also prepared or certain things that the Lord has laid in different people’s hearts.

I’m excited to see what’s to come as I believe that we’ll be experiencing a revival of sorts in the years to come.  Although my faith sometimes isn’t quite there yet, by God’s grace, I’ll get there with His guidance in my life.

Nonchalance

This morning, I came across the ugly side of working locals – their nonchalant attitude.  I was about to alight from a train at my workplace station, when I saw an unattended blue haversack.  I asked loudly if the bag belonged to anyone as there wasn’t anyone standing near it & there were quite a number of empty seats on the train with only a lady standing at the opposite door whilst this bag was placed on the floor next to the train pole.  The people seated in the train all looked & replied that it wasn’t theirs.  The people alighting the train just stared at me for asking such a question (I felt as if I was asking an invalid question).  I felt very upset as here was a bunch of adults who were presumably going to work & should be educated on the dangers of an unattended bag – yet, the look on their faces reflected that it was non of their business & why was I concerned about an unattended bag on the train, when we know that we should inform the staff on the train as it could be something dangerous.

As I was asking the question before the train door closed, I looked around to see if I could report to anyone on the platform but there wasn’t any staff present – as such, I went to the entrance & informed the staff about the departed train.  She then proceeded to make calls to get the bag checked.

Anyhow, the encounter this morning made me reflect about growing attitudes amongst the locals – the attitude of ‘it’s not my business/concern’.  I’m shocked by this attitude but realised that sometimes, we can be so self-absorbed that we don’t realise that we have this attitude with a short term focus on achieving our own goals/priorities without seeing the bigger picture of it all.  This unattended item might be of no impact to us individually – especially since we’ve alighted from the train (interestingly, even those on the train were pretty nonchalant about the existance of an unattended bag on the same train as them).  However, they never realised that if anything untoward them would happen – it would have been the result of their nonchalance that would affect their personal lives, as well as the country & the entire economy.

Singapore is a very safe place & sometimes we take safety for granted to such an extent that we blame others if it wasn’t safe, without taking personal responsibility for ensuring that it remains a safe place for us all to live in.  As I reflected on this further, I realised that sometimes, we take that same perspective in all aspects of our life.  That we shouldn’t be busy-bodies & as a result of that, we refuse to take responsibility for what should be our initial responsibility to begin with.  E.g. It’s our responsibility to preserve/sustain the environment as it’s sustaining us – however, we sometimes take the stand that since everyone’s doing it, we’ll continue to further erode the environment by sleeping in air conditioning despite it being cool weather or leaving our computers switched on despite us not using it overnight etc etc.  Sometimes I’m guilty this myself.

As believers in Christ, it’s our personal responsibility to grow in the Lord & to study His word.  However, sometimes, we transfer that responsibility to others & make others responsible – e.g. the sermon/teaching was bad – I didn’t learn anything & if I’m not growing, it’s other people’s fault.  If anyone were to ask me, I’ll let them know.   Personally, I used to take that stance as well & found myself being critical of leaders around me.  I blamed them for every conceivable thing that they did, until the Lord taught me through various teachings that it was my personal responsibility to grow in the love, understanding & application of God’s word in my life.  Then I undertook the responsibility to ensure I grow to become a balanced christian & ask the Lord to transform my thought pattern.

I pray that we will not be nonchalant in our life & neither will we go to the other extreme as in to be judgemental under the mask of being concerned for others.   We need a balance of both – I’m also partnering & learning together with the Holy Spirit on this as well.

Amazing Week

I’m amazed at what has happened in the past week & how the Lord has brought me through so many situations that were tough.  I was struggling so much with my time & feeling lethargy over the many things I had to plan, the expectations that were heaped upon me from all aspects of family, work, ministry, personal etc.  However, I’m just so amazed how everything worked out & how God really led me with His divine guidance.

I started off last week feeling drained as there were some emotional issues that I had to bring before the Lord, subsequently, I was looking forward to receiving some teachings over the weekend but the journey to & from the venue left me physically drained & also had a bout of food poisoning.  The doctor diagnosed me as having food poisoning, although I’m not sure whether it was the super healthy 1litre of berry juice I had in the morning or was it a form of spiritual attack.  Nevertheless, I thank the Lord for using me in the past week to speak to various ones & also for bringing many along my path to speak into my personal life & situation.

As I’m gearing up for what is to come despite my packed schedule, I thank God once again for His last minute addition of a co-instructor for our upcoming WFL class.  I’m so glad this person agreed to help out as she was the one who wrote the materials for the course – yet another learning experience for me.  PTL!

I came into the office today to hear some sad news of an ex-colleague who had passed away.  Last week, this colleague kept popping into my mind & I regret not spending more time praying for her as I thought it was a reminder for me to catch up with her over a meal.  Regretfully, I never got that chance to do so & will be attending her funeral wake tonight.  This was a colleague who is a catholic by faith & was riddled with many chinese superstition.  Recently, she had the opportunity to experience God in a personal manner & just a month ago, we were exchanging correspondences on how she could grow further in knowing the Lord.  I hope she had the opportunity to receive the Lord personally as her Lord & Saviour at some point in life.

Overall, an awesome week, although hectic & packed.  I really sense that the Lord is doing a new work in our midst & a renewal of our spirit.  Although it seems slow & tedious, but it’s surely progressing.  Praise God for His work in my life & in the lives of those around me!

Surprised!

The past week have been  loaded with surprises for myself.  From the onset of the Global Conference which I attended which I was mightily blessed, refreshed & renewed in the vision & the purpose of what I’m doing, to the fellowship & rememberance of why I started this race with God to begin with.  Indeed, it has been a fruitful & eventful adventure with the Lord thus far.

Some things saddened me along the way, from the passing away of one of the CG member’s dad whom we were praying for, to a few other matters that related to ministry.  Nevertheless, I was once again really encouraged when I decided to post in my facebook a reminder for myself about the need to obey & be faithful in our walk with God, when I realised that there were many out there that replied & were of the same faith (most of them I didn’t really know personally).

This kept me wondering as how we can get easily discouraged & how God really put other believers around us to run the race to completion victoriously.  The Lord has been stirring many things in my heart & sometimes I wonder where I’ll start & when it’ll all end.  Coz my weeks since my holidays back from Japan has really been packed & stretching – both at work, home & ministry.  Such that I don’t have much personal time for myself to prepare for what’s up ahead, then the Lord speaks to me yet again about certain things I need to do.  Indeed, I’ve never had so many things on my place thus far but I’m amazed at how I’ve managed to pull through with so limited time & energy.

Anyhow, it was indeed refreshing to be able to sit under the WOG over the 3 days of Global Conference.  Last Friday evening, I started setting up my new aquarium – will post a pix of it soon – coz I left my phone at home today & the result of it was delightful coz I enjoyed seeing my cherry & orange shrimps swimming around the plants & grass with my neon tetras.  Attended the combined service on Saturday & on Sunday, spent time with my little nephew in the west part of Singapore – Lim Chu Kang!  Back to the good old days where I visited a few farms such as the frog, vegetable, fish farms & also visited D’Kranji Farm Resort http://www.dkranji.com.sg/ & saw people fishing river prawns & bbqing them & also so much greenery.  Never knew Singapore still had a spot for so many green stuff all around!  Saw for the first time bitter gourd, yam, rice/wheat (my dad claimed it was rice, I thought it was wheat), pomelo, lady’s fingers, corn etc etc within a single compound within D’Kranjo Farm Resort – highly recommended to bring kids there – especially since they’ve got this Singapore Tourist Promotion Board booklet for kids to stamp where they’ve been to.

Busy weekend but time well spent with family & friends.

Devil or the Deep Blue Sea

This quotation kinda stuck with me quite a bit over the past week or so.  I’ve realised that many a times, we can sometimes be caught in a situation where we have 2 choices – a known choice that we know isn’t quite the right choice (i.e. the devil) or the unknown choice that we wouldn’t know whether it’ll be a beneficial choice (i.e. the deep blue sea).  I pray that I’ll always have the courage to choose the Deep Blue Sea over the devil.

For a few reasons – firstly, I’m not a ‘risk taker’ by nature, but I enjoy doing something new/different – with calculated risks.  Secondly, I’ve always liked the sea versus the devil – ok this might not seem right but I’ve always loved the sea, the sun & the sand.  Since young, I’ve been fascinated by shows like “SeaQuest DSV” – especially with the talking dolphin – Darwin who has a machine that can translate his noises into understandable human words.  This was a science fiction series that has always struck me coz it’s theme has always been “the sea is the final frontier that man has not conquered”.  Perhaps it relates to my adventurous bone within me, but like I’ve said, I’ve always loved the sea & the fact that it’s full of life!  Last but not least, perhaps due to the way I’m wired up, I can’t stand it when I see something unjustly being done & I always try not to do things that aren’t right – although I’m not successful all the time – e.g. sin is not something that we did, it also includes things that we witness & didn’t do anything about.

Perhaps that speaks of why I’m a ‘driven’ person as I sometimes can’t accept certain things as they are.  However, I have to be careful about how I bring across/up these things as I need to do it in the right spirit (i.e. not something that’s rebelling but with a sweet spirit of wanting to move forward positively).

I was just sharing with some about the need for us to continuously outreach to our friends who are in their 20s due to their level of openness to the church & also to friendships.  I don’t know why but when I slept last night, I had a very interesting dream that I had 3 female rabbits who were pregnant.  The first one gave birth but I was unable to save the baby & felt very sad.  The other 2 gave birth & the bunnies survived – although I was surprised coz I don’t know how bunnies are delivered.  I was joyful in fact.  When I woke up on the way to office, I was asking myself why 3 rabbits instead of my 3 dogs.  I was asking God what was the significance (coz I have absolutely no intention to keep rabbits – much less 3 female ones as they can be quite smelly a pet to keep).  Anyways, I felt that this dream related to my sharing last night & these 3 rabbits were reflective of the 3 CGs under my care.  Two of them will be productive & fruitful.  With this revelation, I prayed that God would bless whatever’s under my care.  I have to acknowledge that without Him in my life, I wouldn’t be doing more than half the things I’m doing today.  Even if I did, I don’t think I can cope or have the strength to carry on.  Thank God for using me in His work!  Indeed, I’ve been blessed in so many ways that I’ve lost track of it all.  Thank you, Abba Father!

Sabbath

Just returned from a leader’s retreat over the weekend & it was aptly themed “Sabbath”.  It was a relaxing time & one that I need a little more often in my life.  Although I do take holidays & try to incorporate spiritual renewal in it, it would be great to take a holiday without any other thing in mind, except to relax & have nothing to do.  Indeed, that’s my kinda holiday – kinda slack, isn’t it?

Well, I was tired before the retreat despite just being back from a holiday.  Perhaps it has been a long week the past week & I can only imagine that the weeks to come will only become more hectic.  This is probably why I’m still counting the cost of pursuing a burden the Lord has been putting in my heart just of last month.  I’m still praying about it and looking for ways to learn more about this ministry in time to come.  Indeed, the time of being ministered to by God through other leaders has been a good reminder of some promises that God has made in my life in the past.  I’m still waiting for it to come to the past & some of the things that the Lord has been laying a burden in my heart have been in my heart for more than 10 years.  I’m still waiting to see & actively trying to see how I could work in those areas.

Indeed, Sabbath is a time for us to get refreshed & renewed in the presence of God and we should be practicing Sabbath on a daily basis by learning how to rest in Him daily in our life throughout the day.  Although I’ve also realised that I need to be physically rested to be more alert to Him & also to be more focused generally speaking.

Yesterday was Singapore’s 44th birthday.  Indeed, it was a proud moment for us all as Singaporeans as the national pledge was being read out as part of the celebration, which was televised on television.  We were having a steamboat dinner infront of the TV & also with the ability to see the fireworks at my brother’s house.  At the moment that the national pledge was being read, we all stopped eating & started to say the pledge with pride.  We are all proud that our nation has progressed thus far despite it’s young age.  More importantly, I thank God for bringing us this far as a nation & that indeed as a nation, we have the privilege & freedom to pursue many ideals that we have.  Although there are shortcomings in leadership, I thank God that there are more benefits that our leaders have brought us as a nation.  Indeed, there is no perfect leaders but I believe, they’ve done the best that they possibly can & I’m proud to be a Singaporean.

Break!

Just back from Hokkaido for a week’s break.  Best tour package I’ve ever joined as I enjoy trips that are more relaxing in nature & finally found one.  Unfortunately, the tour leader shared that this was probably the most relaxing in Asia Pacific.  Thus, there goes my dream holidays for tours.  Anyhow, this has been an enjoyable trip & definitely one that busted my diet tremendously.  Check out my facebook for the pix.  It’s the floral season right now & definitely, the place is famous for it’s seafood  So I’ve got lots of salmon swimming upstream, together with the good cholestrol & the crabs & prawns with the bad cholestrol.

Overall, great trip with a thanksgiving point.  Prior to the trip, I checked out the weather & it was raining daily.  In fact, it was forecasted to rain daily till Fri when i was going to be there.  I prayed that this would be a good trip (which I was pleasantly surprised – thanks to those of you who have been praying for me as well).  The weather was sunny & hot when I was there!  No rain at all except on the final day as we were on our way to the airport!  Praise the Lord!  The tour guide shared that the previous 2 groups prior to us were battling with temperatures as low as 7 degrees!  I was so thankful coz I can’t imagine plucking cherries in the rain to eat them!

Well, interestingly I had time even to read at night on this trip!  Which is kinda amazing as my trip last year to Turkey was so tiring that I only got to the hotel past 10pm daily & was too tired to do anything beyond showering & going to bed.  Overall, my prayers were really answered as I got refreshed & recharged physically & also through the Word of God.  In fact, I’m praying for a confirmation of certain things that the Lord has put on my heart during this trip.

This is one of the pix I took to show you the vibrancy of colours of the farm & the sunny weather!  As you can see I had little faith that I brought along some long sleeved tops for this trip.  But God is great!

Ethics

This is a very controversial topic.  On the front page of today’s newspapers, together with the biggest news of the eclipse (which I don’t know why people make such a big fuss about), was an article about how doctors have low level of ethics.  In fact, when you read the questions posed in a working environment for doctors & the choices they would make, it’s very shocking.

I’m not surprised by that as I had an encounter of sorts a few years back when my dad was diagnosed with kidney failure.  He was running a fever for about a few days & the doctor couldn’t diagnose him & thus decided to ward him as a suspect dengue case.  The blood tests that were carried out wasn’t conclusive to reflect that he had dengue but it concluded that he had chronic kidney failure.   The family, including my dad was devastated.  We then went about trying to find out how he got it as it was chronic – which meant that it had lasted for a very long period of time & surely, his doctors would have picked it up in his annual check-ups.  Upon investigation, we realise that one of his doctors took note that he had kidney failure more than 5 years back.  As a result of it, all the medication that doctor prescribed for him was for kidney patients.  However, he never told my dad that he had kidney failure.  As a result, all other medications that other doctors gave him were not suitable for him & he wasn’t aware about it.

We were furious when we found out about it as the medications he was taking was harmful to patients with kidney failure.  As a result, we spoke to a few people in the legal & medical profession to find out what were our options as my dad’s quality of life would be very affected if he had to start on dialysis, which at this point in time was imminent.  We were told from a legal perspective that we would require a doctor to prove with the medical records that my dad wasn’t updated that he had kidney failure when he had the annual check up (if he knew about it earlier, the kidney failure would be easily reversible).

We then proceeded to check with some people in the medical profession & no one was willing to help.  Apparently there was an ‘unwritten’ code of conduct amongst those in the medical profession that one should never point the finger at another physician.  I was so disappointed with the medical profession then.

Thus, today’s news wasn’t something new/surprising to me.  In fact, it’s been an agonising few years of trying to control my dad’s diet to keep his kreatinin levels down which he lost so much weight that it was just painful to see him live life with discouragement & also a fear that he was going to pass away soon.  Subsequently when he decided that he would rather go for dialysis than live his life as a vegetarian, he started gaining his weight back.  However, the quality of life he had previously has been dramatically compromised.  He has to spend 3 times a week, 4 hours each time doing dialysis.  This excludes the preparation time & all the other things he needs to do, as well as transportation time to & from the venue.  Also, he is always weak & tired after dialysis, not able to sleep during dialysis & being confined to the chair & can’t move his arm.  It’s really painful for us as a family to have to see him go through this as a result of a doctor’s neglient act.

I believe the medical profession locally is in great need for a clean up in this aspect.  I’ve seen & experienced it myself & this wasn’t the only encounter I’ve had.  But all the more, I’ve also realised the importance of being informed & also, the need to live a life that we maximise whatever we can do & ensure we carry it out in a manner with due diligence.  Understood that we’re all not perfect & make mistakes.  That’s why I always value a specific characteristic in others who dare to admit a mistake.  It’s not easy, but it’s the first step to making a breakthrough in our personal life.

Acceptance

Many people struggle with what is acceptable today.  As I look at my nephew who’s growing up, I’ve learnt a lot of things about myself.  Jeremiah seems to be very musically inclined & from 15 months old, he’s started to know what’s a guitar & constantly asks me to bring out my guitar to let him play.  Thankfully I’ve got an old guitar at home that’s broken that I bring it out for him.  He loves to play with the strings & hear sound come out from it.  I sometimes play the guitar & compose a song for him or sing some kids songs that he can sing along with me.  Recently, I saw a toy guitar replicating an electric guitar & got it for him.  He didn’t really like that guitar coz it looked different from my folk guitar.  Thus, he pushed it away repeatedly.  I had to play a Hillsongs video & pause when they were zooming in on the electric guitar.  Thereafter, he liked the guitar so much we had to bring it out for dinner.

Another example was a superman doll we have.  When we showed him & told him this was superman, he was scared of it.  He didn’t like that doll at all.  I recently bought him a superheroes VCD & let him watch the cartoon of superman saving the world.  From then on, that superman doll was acceptable to him.

For my nephew, he’s at the stage where he’s developing values based on what he perceives as acceptable.  There are some things that he notices – e.g. when he does something naughty, we will spank him on his hands. As a result of observing this, when he’s naughty & gets spanked, he will hit us back as he doesn’t like to be spanked.  Obviously, in developing such values, we need to teach him & explain to him that it’s not right for him to spank others & he needed to be spanked as he was being naughty.

From an early age, we go through the formation of our value systems, which carry on till we’re 6 feet under.  However, in the process of it all, we grow & mature as an individual, based on what we view as acceptable.  These are further shaped by what we expose ourselves to.  Interestingly, for countries that are less exposed to the world, they hold strong values in the area of community, relationships & family bonds.  However, countries that have more exposure in terms of media, international exposure etc, hold values that are shaped by what’s happening in the world.  As a result of all this, moral values which used to be shaped by the families are now increasingly shaped by the world, rather than in our formative years.

Alright , I feel like I’m writing an assignment but what I’m trying to say is that all of us crave acceptance from those around us & we perceive world values to be the ones we want to pursue in our lives.  However, rather than just following what the world is doing, we should stop for moments & think about how these values would benefit us in the long run or even, how these values would impact those around us, especially our loved ones.  I’m not yet a biological parent, although I’m a spiritual one to some but it really pains me to see how people sucumb to values that are being promoted by the world, having pre-marital sex freely, sex outside of marriage, emphasis on self-satisfaction disregarding the impact on other’s lives etc.  The values that people have are eroding to a great extent – but people view it as the way to be accepted in the community.

Is this really how God wants us to be?  If we were parents of our children, would we be happy that our children are doing things that are damaging themselves physically without thinking of the consequences due to their inexperience of life & the effects of their habits & ways?  We need to really set ourselves apart to do what is right, although it may be difficult & viewed unacceptable by the world.  This life is perhaps a 80-year-old one that we may live on earth.  But let’s live it to make an impact in other’s lives & set it aside to do what is good & eternal.