Ironical

The weather has been so humid & hot these days that I dread moving away from the air conditioning.  I’m generally one that doesn’t sweat easily but the opposite holds true these days.  I’ve also been looking at exercising but without doing much or getting my heart rate up, my perspiration is already surfacing.  Indeed, the weather has changed my dress code in the office as well to wearing more short sleeved blouses & dresses – which is kinda refreshing (more for my colleagues than myself).

Anyhow, it’s so ironic that I love the air conditioning as it prevents moisture from coming out of my pores (in the guise of perspiration) but yet, my body is rejecting it as I’m also more prone to coughing fits, which are a result of my sinus.  I was reminded today about how Paul was writing that outwardly, his body is wasting away but inwardly it’s being renewed – the irony of it struck me.  It’s like I’m drawn to the air-conditioning but my body is rejecting it as it’s keeping me awake with coughing fits.  

Then it struck me that in terms of applying things that we learn  into our lives.  Sometimes, outwardly we show signs of positiveness & optimism but inwardly, we’re depressed & feeling very negative about it – thus we fool others & sometimes, we ourselves refuse to acknowledge that we’re not doing as well as we could be.  This often results in stagnation of our walk with God as believers in Christ.  We then start giving ourselves excuses that we can’t do this & that coz of this & that, but deep down inside us, there are issues that we know require addressing, which we refused to look at improving & asking God to help us with it.  

I recall being a new believer and being given a sheep that was full of the knowledge of the WOG.  I was awed by her knowledge, I was practically paralysed by it.  I felt that I could never teach her anything as I haven’t even know the Lord as personally as she had.  I went to my leaders & insisted that they had made a mistake by placing me over her as a shepherd.  I felt like I was a mouse besides a spiritual giant.  Eventually, I turned my attitude around & told myself that whatever I know or I don’t know, I gotta be upfront.  But because of this sheep, it spurred me on further to read & study the word & read up on all the things she brought up relating to the Lord.  I believe that it’s our attitude that counts.  Unfortunately, I’ve also realised that as I mature physically and spiritually, there are times where my attitude is really bad in terms of learning & growing & applying the Word into my personal life.

Once again, I got to re-learn the lessons I’ve learnt & also push myself to be more exposed to various things out there.  Interestingly, I was reading something about prayer this morning & it struck me when the author spoke about christians having “Hail Mary” times when things are tough, but at other points in time, we will depend on our strength & cleverness to get ourselves out of the situation.  Isn’t it ironic that we need God but yet, try to live our lives independently until we can no longer do things by ourselves but need to rely upon Him, the Alpha & Omega in our lives?